Ha, I laughed when I saw that title. Here is some yarn I am using to make a future present. JE loves it, I tolerate it. It is sometimes contrary to knit/crochet with because it has little grabby places. But it is the softest yarn ever when it it washed. I got two skeins of Lion Brand Homespun Candy Apple #375. One of the best things about this yarn, take note of the American flag. It is made in the USA! For that alone I will continue to use it.